The Power of Power!!

Its been a few weeks!!! That means, I am more accustomed to this CoVid culture now & things are more normal!!!!

I have been watching or stalking on SSR turned to Bollywood case & the Hathras case. The drama was a very interesting watch. Much more interesting than the IPL where my most fav team is losing at all matches. My hero is not that fit!!

So, this brings me to this drama of what is going on in the Bollywood & the media “Circus” as they call it. I am no judge of how ppl live their life & definitely I am one among the people who does watch the “Gossips”. Unfortunately, people like me have given the media (this includes Bollywood) the right to exploit us. The right to make money out of us & the right to decide what is “Right” & “Wrong” for us.

Journalism was an auxiliary subject I had in college & the first thing that was taught to us was “A report is recording of facts without any emotion” A duty of a reporter was to state the fact & leave it that way. If a view is needed, an expert in that field is called in & they throw light on the details. Again, without emotions & without taking sides. It is very important to view facts without coloured glasses.

But now a days, each & everyone has become an expert. I think these journalists would call me in, as well, if I can ensure TRP rating for them. If I shout cuss words at Rajdeep or Arnab, I will definitely become an expert on any subject, for those channels. Like all these political ppl who have all become the close associates in Disha & SSR’s lives. Those people who fake emotions & do circus in just visiting a rape victim’s family. I seriously don’t understand the politics of visiting a gang raped victim’s family. Ideally, we should concentrate on the family of those ppl who did the rape & insult them so much that each & every family member of a guy takes it their responsibility to bring their son, brother, husband to treat another female the right way. Insult them in such a way that a man thinks, not just twice but a zillion times before looking at a girl in an inferior way. Focus on the family of those rapist until they disown that person. But these people focus on the victim, when they need time to draw the strength from themselves. Instead of giving them that time, these people pound at their doorstep to keep that memory very fresh. Give a break!!!!

I would say we are one of the reasons why the media is the way they are, the actors are taking drugs. Because, we are interested. Because we choose to make them our Idols. Because we are so interested in what they do every single minute of their life & try to copy that, that they need drugs to obliviate themselves from this world. And we are responsible as we have given them the Power to dictate things to us. We have given them the Power to say “Don’t watch us, if you are not interested!”.

Everything needs to be kept in their place. Just because we have a golden broom, we cannot use that to clean the toilet. When we respect each other as a human being & not treat anyone above or below us, we create a better place to live. So, this change should start from us. We all must take an oath to NEVER look Up on any person & NEVER look Down on any person. NEVER blindly believe someone. NEVER to blindly distrust someone. Never take sides. Never give the power of our life to others.

All of us are HUMANs, lets be them!! Use the Power we have the right way & show how powerful we are to this world & not the otherway!!

Be the Charming Sun - Not the Twinkling Star!!

 When I was a child, I used to love being popular. In those early days, my memory is that of my mom, making me join competitions. She used to do a lot of hard work. I used just mug up words & show the expressions my mom used to teach me! But my mom would run around & arrange for my costumes, research for dialogues in those days, when, leave alone google, Internet & why?? Computer was unheard off. If you needed some popular dialogues, you would have to go & get some cassettes. You would have to go to library to look up archives for dialogues. You could not copy them or take pics on your mobile, you will have to write them down in a piece of paper & carry it home. I never knew all these works that go behind a simple fancy dress competition. I used to go up on stage, well made up, with the make up my mom used to put on me (God knows how she was a pro right from the beginning!) with those costumes, which were hand-stitched by her. Recite those dialogues, along with those expressions, that were drilled into me, by the same mom, after so many practices. Those practices that would take place in between coaching my brother & me for our academics, in between her cooking schedule & her other activities, in between taking care of the things my dad would need!! The funny thing would be, I would win the prize. In fact, there were instances when my school got the “champion school” award, as I won the first place. All the credit would go to me! People would crowd around me & my mom & tell my mom “Your daughter is a genius! Look at her talent!!” My mom would feel so proud! & I would lap up all the attention! I was a star (Oh - only according to me)!!!

This word “Star” is so glamorous isn’t it! Look at Aishwarya Rai, Amitabh Bacchhan, Rajni Kanth, how nice it would be to them, atleast for a day isn’t it! Let alone be them, even meeting them is such a great achievement in our life for many of us isn’t it! But do we realise, that stardom usually comes with so many drawbacks??? First of all, these “Stars” can never be a normal human being. They are always kept at a pedestal! They are always followed & what they do becomes the gospel for many! & 1 small mistake they do – Something we, the common man feel it as a “Mistake”, whether they do it or not, we presume & judge them as a criminal. We boycott them, burn their effigies, pelt stone on their houses, even on them. Harm, not only them, but their family members & even their staff. These days, I see this happening on social media the most. It is the social media users that decide whether a person is a criminal or not, a person is worth living their life or not. I recently saw a hashtag that was trending the most in twitter. “#RIPRAJDEEP”. For a moment I thought this guy really died. But later realized, this guy is completely alive, however, this hashtag was used to put this person down. Hey, I am no fan of Rajdeep. But still, “RIPRAJDEEP” is a little too much for a person who is alive, even if he deserves it or not!

Thank God I never became a star that I thought I was! I am happy that I have woken up from my childhood “Stardom” long back, & working on being a person who is more attuned to the process than the result! Working on being more knowledgeable than showing off my knowledge. Working on being a loving person than a loved person! Being a charming Sun rather than a Twinkling star!!!!!

 

It's normal Again!

 I remember the time after my marriage. A life where I would sit in a small bedroom in a flat on the 15^th floor of a bldg, watching over a fountain. In an unknown country, never seeing another soul in the building, other than the Nathur (watchman). All alone, thinking of the times before my marriage, when I never used to be alone. Always accompanied by the family. Waiting to enjoy that again! At that time, I so wanted my early life back. My old friends back. I was waiting to come back to India & take my life back from where I had left it.

Little did I know that things move on!!

The small responsibilities I had held at home, was already taken over by someone else! Whenever I return home, it was not just the 4 of us at home! My mom would not make things I love, but, the things Raja loved. I saw her do things she used to do to me, to my SIL. (yes, I was jealous!) My friends got married & got busy with their life! They had very little time for ME! Moreover, 20 days’ holidays was split between B’lore & Mumbai & never Chennai, where I spent most of my childhood days ☹.

Life had moved on for everyone! It took me sometime to realise, that things would never be the same as we left it  (as written in my earlier blog!). It was hard to accept this realization, but then once I did, life became so wonderful. Our home became a joyous place with all of us during holidays! My friends’ new family became my new family! We started making new memories & life moved on!

But then why am I talking about this now? Because, we have left a fun filled life, 5 months before, thinking we will be going back to the same old life WHENEVER this epidemic gets over! Is that really a possibility? I don’t think so! I don’t think there would be an overnight turn of events, that would enable us to go back to our life 5 months before! And this life we are living, is not a temporary one!

We need to accept this - this is a new way of life! It might be scary to accept, may be difficult to accept. But once we accept this, we can very well see, how enjoyable this life is. Vaccine may come with time, but we have learnt a few new things & we have evolved during this last 5 months. Each of us have got more time to reflect on ourselves & definitely not the same person we were 5 months before. But as I said before, we will have new golden moments in the future! It may not be the way it was! But, it will definitely be in the way that is more enjoyable!

Accept the change & Lead the new way!

Retirement!

I always wanted to retire when I become 40. Raja & I always argue about the age of retirement, so he has somehow persuaded me to go on until I am 45. But being at home all these days, I am thankful I have agreed to extend my retirement age to 45! God Knows what I will become, just doing nothing! More than me, I think my husband is blessed that I am not thinking of retirement, ‘cause, he is my sounding board right…..What all I blabber to him just being at home during these COVID Days, I am sure if this extends beyond a certain period, Raja would need assistance just cos of handling me!!!

If me, a normal person, whose work means something to only a very handful of  people, go through such drama being a little less occupied, what would Icons like Dhoni undergo? I am just putting him in my shoes, though I am sure, he belongs to a totally different kind of shoes, still, wouldn’t he have a little mental discomfort to stop doing what he did for atleast 15+ years? He would have stayed in more Hotels than at home, so would he feel a little withdrawal symptom being more at home?

I remember reading an interview of Rahul Dravid’s wife, when he retired. She said she would make him help more at home chores, like going to the supermarket, buying veggies etc.,. For many, it was a funny thing to imagine! The “Wall” standing in a queue, though I have come to know that he does stand in a queue, may be not to buy veggies, but for other things like voting etc.,

Retirement phase would require a LOT of mental adjustments for each & everyone. Whatever profession that person has been carrying out. It is moving out of one routine & taking up another! A HUGE Change! If you are idyllic person like me, who used to fantasize on being lazy & idle, like, being a couch potato, retirement would be the last thing to do!!!

Retirement ideally means a stop of things that you would normally do & start of something different. We go through this phase quiet often in our life! Right from our childhood, we retire being a child who stays at home, the minute we are put in play-school or school. The minute we pass our boards, we retire being a school goer, Once we graduate, we retire from our college life. More impacting, we retire from our bachelor or spinsterhood, the minute we get married! So, what is it that is so different from our work retirement, that actually makes us think things differently? Is it our age, that stops welcoming changes? (so, it would be good to retire quiet early isn’t it?)

Retirement is something that is a must for anyone of us & something each & everyone of us would face (fingers crossed) some day or the other! So, the more graceful we accept it, more enjoyable it would be! Yes, this is something I know but must accept as well! I am sure Dhoni would be doing a much better job than me!

Time Moves On........

 I made a wonderful gujju Khadi & Jeera Rice…..I felt so happy as it reminded me of my most fav Khadi taste. It was just like the khadi I always adored – Geetar’s Khadi…yummmmmmm People who have been in UAE can understand what I mean!

This brought about a nostalgic moment & a recent conversation I had with my “DARLING” niece. ( that is how she calls herself! :D) She was asking me what I was going to write next, I said that is reserved for weekends as my mind is full of work during the week. So she was giving me ideas & one such thing was to write about her…”Write about me no….your darling niece!!” This conversation & my most yummy khadi is taking me down the memory lane, to those days in UAE…..so here it is, my darling niece, this blog is dedicated to you!!!

The main thing I remember & miss the most from UAE is FOOD!!!! My SIL says, “you say that now, but you were always complaining about food then!!!” may be I did, but I don’t remember that, I remember only that FOOD, whenever & Wherever we want, it would be available. I remember those small cafeterias that would be opened until 3 a.m. & close for just about 2 hours & start again at 5!!!

 I remember those days when Raja & I would go for a late night or should I say an early morning movie! 1 a.m. shows….we will return home, pick up a tea from chetta’s cafeteria, before he closes at 3 & go for a long drive, watch the sunrise at 4:30 a.m. & come back home fresh to sleep!!!! Wake up at around 12 noon & the whole family would assemble (around 15 - 20 of us) to go to a restaurant to have lunch….most probably it would be Geetar – the most lovely Gujju thali! Or Dwaraka – the lunch buffet, or Rasoi Ghar – to a Rajasthani thali!!!! Then we will all assemble at someone’s house, mostly ours or my Sil’s for a tea!!! This was sort of a ritual for us. We were 4 families with extensions.

Another thing I miss the most is Loooooooong drives. I miss the fights with my nephew & niece to take up the front passenger seat! Sometimes the 6 of us used to assemble in 1 car. It was initially very easy with these kids being small & very comfortable, later it used to be much loving shovels between my nephew, niece & me. But nevertheless, we still preferred travelling in the same car & fighting for comfort-ability rather than travel in 2 cars. Another thing we used to fight is for which FM station to listen!! Or which song to listen to! I remember those days when my niece was anti-hindi songs. She wanted to listen ONLY to tamil songs..I wish she remained that way!! Esply my nephew, who never listened to songs, is all the time on English music now!!

Another thing about long drives are the drives Raja & I used to have almost everynight….I would return from office, Raja would be waiting for me at some restaurant, we would have our dinner & then we would go for a long drive to pick up a tea 150 kms away. Come back home at around 12 midnight. While parking, the FM would start putting up Kishore Kumar songs, so we would take the car again & leave, pick up a 1 dh icecream from McDonalds (I think that is the only thing I have ever eaten in McDonalds) & go for another drive until about 1:30 a.m. come home, sleep until 5 & get ready, in a sleepy mood to the office. Then go to sleep for another couple of hours in the car!!!

How we wish, all the 6 of us, that we go back to those days! But, that time has moved on! Our lives have moved on……Geetar has also closed :(. We can never go back to those days, but we can definitely create much better memories in the days to come! Hoping for more lovelier times!!!!!!!!

Jai Shri Ram

My whole day on 5^th Aug was spent in a state of Euphoria. I wanted to convert my feelings into words, however, I just could not! An unreal day that would go into History – For the best reason!

I have done nothing for this change to have been brought out, but I feel that my darling has come home! Thanks to all those people, living & dead, who have prayed & always envisioned for this day, even if they are not there to see it. Thanks to all those karyakartas in the form of people at the frontline protecting the temple site, the lawyers, the lobbyist, the scholars, the visionaries, & many others including the every day Bhakta of Shri Ram. Leaders like Shri Narendra Modi, Shri Amit Shah, Yogi Adityanath, who made this dream possible to come true. I am sure many souls would have had a happy day, like I can feel my Dadda & my mamamai weeping through the day. They would, had they been alive, for they were such a lover of Shri Ram. Especially those who believed that writing the Rama Nama will bring Ayodhaya back in its original form of Glory! Sanshtaanga pranams to the Founder of “Rama Nama Bank”. What a moment it wud have been for all those ppl who wrote Rama Nama, book after book for so many years, when they were all kept in the foundation of Ayodhya!!!!! Scintillating feeling!

To those people who question the integrity over the place of birth of Rama & over demolishing the mosque & building a temple in its place, I ask you this…..had this happened to your house, if you were thrown out & someone else demolished your house to build a new own on it, how would you feel? One's home is the palace for each one, even if it is a hut & you are currently staying at a 5* hotel. I can see my in laws waiting to return to their haven of the house, even though they are well pampered with love from their children here. The last scene in Chak De has shown this very well. When we feel this way for a mere roof above our head, the temple at the birth place of Rama is even more sacred for us Hindus. What is wrong in us claiming what is rightfully ours?

To those people who want a Hospital or School in that place, there are so many other places which can be converted. This is 1 sacred place for us & it is our RIGHT to have a temple, which will be open to each & every one of us, not just to sick people or to children, had it been just a Hospital or a School.

It’s a such a moment of Pride & Joy for us, that when Modji was in the temple doing the pooja, tears just flowed in my own eyes. I had goosebumps all over. I was once a secular person, if even I cud feel this, I can understand the feeling of so many millions of people!!!!!

Shri Ram has come to his home! And in the most deserving way. He waited all these years patiently & is entering Ayodhya only after the judgement is made FOR HIM! He continues to prove his virtue! Jai Shri Ram!!!!

Value of Life!!

I was listening to a talk by Shefali Vaidya. It was truly inspiring & made me think what value am I adding to this world. When we are in this world, so surrounded by so many achievers, we tend to ask the question of “Am I of any value by doing the usual things?”

I see so many of my friends posting youtube videos, showcasing their talents. Do I need to do that to add value to my life? I see so many people tweet either for or against a social cause. Do I need to do that to make my statement?

I see many people participating in protests. Should I do that? Or like many others who connect with intellectuals & spread their knowledge, do I need to do that?

Is just being me, such a useless thing? So why am I even born????? Isnt there a purpose in life????

Pondering on & on & on…………Thankfully Bhagavad Geeta comes to my aid.

We don’t need to do anything extra to make ourselves “important” or make ourselves “Valuable”. We add value to our every day duty by doing it with utmost focus & with “Prasada” Bhudhi. Confusing?

If we are just a housewife, doing the chores & taking care of our children, when we do each & every job, be it boiling milk, or cleaning the house, or educating our children, If we do it with utmost dedication & without expecting any results, we are adding value to that job.

We may not be posting or showcasing the things we do. But we are, in doing the job with utmost focus, adding value to the job, as we are doing the job in the best way possible. In this way, we are safeguarding our values & yet in our small way adding to the ultimate goal!

So to all those people who are having the same thought of whether you are adding value, in this vast world, give a pat to yourself! You Are!!! In every small thing you do & in every small way you do. You are most important to this world, just like those frontline warriors!