A comment my co-carlifter made today really made me go through all the nava rasas. We both usually talk a lot. Talk just about nothing, just to spite our other co-passengers. But she had been sort of silent since my comeback. I asked her why she was so dull and the reply I get is "I am just giving you time to get over your depression. I understand how hard it is for you.." Her intention was well...So that made me happy. But at the same time, I was angry.
I have seen many people take death so hard. Many people stop taking care of themselves. Stop loving people next to them. Cry all the time. I really dont understand what they acheive by that. Are they going to get the dead person alive? If at all there is the concept of soul being around us is true, do you think its going to be happy with what it sees? Wont it feel so hurt by this behaviour? Is this what we would like to prove to them?
Some of my relatives, at the time of my father's death told me to go and sit next to his picture and cry hard everyday. We should not laugh at all. Oh my God!!!!!!!! The only answer I gave them was..... "My father was not a saddist. He infact loved to see us smile!!" In which veda is it written that we should cry during the 10 day rituals? and stop crying exactly after that????? How can some people go and act so well as per these man made rules???? Especially when they loose their most loved ones? How can people really open their eye tap and close it as and when they want? Are these people so pathetic really? I feel these people's words hurt us more than the death of our loved ones.
I remember those days, when someone asked me what my aim was, I would say spontaneously "To be happy through my life" many scoffed me off and some would say "Oh!! So you are not at all ambitious" and only my loved ones said "Do you know how hard it is to acheive that?" Yes, I agree to these people. Its really hard to acheive this. You may be rich, you may have all the wordly things around you, you may be very well educated, But happiness does not come to you so easily. Its a day to day struggle. True to my consciousness, I can proudly say, that I have tried to acheive this to my best. Come what may.....Be happy. This is the policy, I would like to follow.
I dont want to wash my hands off by saying "I dont miss my Dad & Mom" No ways!!! I do miss them and their loss does hurt. But I am not going to keep crying and let this feeling rule over me. I have the choice of keeping on mourning and that of "Keep smiling, and walk past this". The latter is my choice and I go on with my life, with my parents blessings.
Its really upto each and everyone of us to make choices in life. Life does throw all garbage on us. But taking them with a smile and throwing the unwanted ones is the best way to take it. But if you are going to mourn it........Thats upto you really...
I once put in a post saying "I miss talking to amma" and my husband commented saying "Dr. JJ is busy with election meetings" Many people would have considered it a bad joke at the bad time......But it really helps me come out of my reprive!!! With such loving and understanding people around me I am sure Iwould acheive my goal of being happy through my life!!!!
